


Like a Dream

by corvidkohai



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Trans Cloud Strife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 01:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21091016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidkohai/pseuds/corvidkohai
Summary: Cloud has reservations that Zack must actually be bothered by his being transgender, despite having been reassured to the contrary. These reservations make Cloud stall in making their relationship intimate, but they get their eventually, and when they do, Zack sets his fears to bed.





	Like a Dream

Zack and Cloud had been dating for a while now. They had few secrets left between them, and even if Zack didn’t know about the embarrassing posters of Sephiroth on the wall of his childhood bedroom, the biggest secret had been divulged before Cloud allowed them to enter the relationship. It wasn’t that he had thought it would be a big deal to Zack, but no one in Shinra, save his doctor at the infirmary, knew. The doctor had only been told so he would have access to the promised medical care that had been half the reason he signed up with Shinra to begin with.

Cloud Strife had always been Cloud Strife. The issue was, to the people of Nibelheim, “Cloud” had always been a girl’s name.

It didn’t mean anything on the Eastern Continent. They didn’t know what genders were assigned to the various inanimate parts of the world that Nibel folk occasionally used as names. He could still go by Cloud here, and no one was the wiser. It wasn’t so inherently feminine that it bothered him, either. When his mom had asked him, years ago when he came clean, if he wanted to change his name, he told her it didn’t bother him enough to want to fuss with relearning what name to answer to.

So he came to Shinra, still Cloud Strife. Only, when filling out his forms, he had checked the “M” box instead of the “F.” That had been good enough for everyone there. It had even been good enough for his doctor, when Cloud had admitted the small complication with his selection of boxes. He would have continued lying, but he’d been told that he could have access to hormones, under Shinra’s employ. He’d been told that surgery was even available, if he was interested, and earned up enough sick time to take off for the required healing period. So he told his doctor, who had just nodded his head and discussed the options of gels versus injections and their various merits. Cloud had selected the injections, worried about being able to keep up with a daily gel while on missions, and had been taught how to administer them to himself. He left the initial physical with a bag of needles of various sizes, syringes, vials, alcohol pads, and a container for the sharps to go in when he was done. He’d been given a few sets of binders, warned explicitly not to use the bandages as he had been, and given further warnings about the binders themselves, with firm instructions not to exercise in them, no matter how difficult it would be to manage that in the cadet program. He’d stuffed everything deep in his bag and resolved to find a way to keep it secret.

The other cadets thought it odd that he wouldn’t change in their bunk, only ever in the bathroom. They thought it odd that he wouldn’t use the urinal and got flustered the first time someone asked why. They didn’t care enough to investigate it further, and believed him when he said it was just small town sensibilities. If anyone noticed that his shirts were very baggy when he slept and his chest seemed a little rounder at those times, no one mentioned it.

In fact, it was all going swimmingly, until he got closer than he intended to one Zack Fair. Now, he knew Zack, knew him very well after a while. He didn’t think it would be an actual problem. But he’d only ever told his mother. He’d come to Shinra and lied out of the gate and no one seemed to question him. The people of Nibelheim thought he was a tomboy and only teased him for that. No one but his mother knew the truth, and Cloud was now very good at lying, but he knew he couldn’t lie forever to Zack. He’d have to tell him.

He knew he definitely couldn’t avoid it when he asked him out.

“Like, a date?” His voice cracked as he said it.

Zack chuckled, though it was a little nervous.

“Yeah, Spike. Like a date. You can say no, if you don’t want to.”

“No, Zack, I _do_, it’s just…”

“… Just what?”

“Just… _shit_. I didn’t want to tell you.”

Zack’s brow furrowed.

“Whatever it is, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Of course, I just—I’m not used to having this conversation.”

“Say it in your own time, Cloud.”

Cloud laughed nervously, and ruffled his hair in his oldest anxious tic. He peeked up at Zack, to see him watching him with concern and affection. He looked back down.

“I’m a boy.”

“… Uh, yeah, Spike. I know.”

“No, I mean—_shit_. That was enough last time, but I guess the context is a little different, now, huh?”

“Cloud?”

He took a deep breath and tried again.

“See, that meant something different when I told my mom, because everyone back home thinks I’m a girl.”

He looked up at Zack, watching him slowly process.

“But you’re a guy.”

“Right. That’s just not what they thought when my mom popped me out.”

Zack nodded, more certain this time.

“Whatever the doctors told your mom doesn’t matter to me. You’re you, and I like you, a lot. This doesn’t change anything for me.”

Cloud let out his breath in a whoosh of relief.

“I just—thought you should know, in case we ever… you know.”

Zack smiled fondly and took Cloud’s hand.

“Listen, we don’t have to rush into that, alright? I’m trying to date you, not hook up with you.”

“Right, but if we _do_, then I won’t have a—a—y’know.”

Zack’s smile turned softer, and he raised Cloud’s hand to kiss the knuckles.

“Cloud, you’re smoking hot. What’s in your pants doesn’t change that.”

Cloud blushed at the compliment and cleared his throat.

“I mean, it’s relevant.”

“Do you not like being touched there?”

Cloud could feel himself flushing darker. Fuck, he didn’t just _talk_ about any of this kind of stuff. No one _talked_ about sex in Nibelheim. Parents rarely even gave their kids The Talk; you were left to find out from confusing rumors from classmates.

“I don’t know? I’ve never…”

“We’ll take it at your pace, then. Whenever you’re ready, and you want to, you tell me. If you never want to, that’s fine, too. Wanna start with that date?”

Cloud smiled, despite the way his face was still pink, and nodded.

And here they were, months later. Zack never pushed him, not once. When Cloud asked if he could hide his hormones and supplies at his apartment, he’d been quick to agree. He’d offered to sit with Cloud when he did his injections, and that made it a little easier. He didn’t have to worry about his bunkmates finding his sharps container. Zack gave him a spare key to his apartment so he could go hide there to take off his binder and give his chest a break. He didn’t act weird about it when he saw him unbound, didn’t stare or make comments. He acted like this was perfectly routine, to the point that Cloud asked if he knew other transgender people. He’d shrugged and said no, and whenever Cloud asked how he was so calm about all of this, he had the same answer.

“You’re just you.”

Because apparently it was that simple to Zack. He was Cloud before he was anything else. He was a boy because he said he was, and his breasts didn’t change that. It was refreshing in how uncomplicated it was. Even his mother, who loved him dearly, hadn’t taken it this well.

It had gone perfectly the months they had been together. For the most part, Cloud had no complaints. In fact, he only had one.

He wanted Zack.

It had been building over the months they had been together. He felt safe, with Zack. He trusted him. All the nerves, all the reasons why he would never just go home with a stranger, didn’t apply to Zack. And it didn’t help anything that he was _blindingly_ hot. It didn’t help that he slept in his boxers, or that he came out of the shower with just a towel slung low around his hips. It certainly didn’t help that he had this flirty little smile he gave Cloud sometimes, or the way he kissed him just right to take his breath away. But he always stopped at the kissing, even when Cloud climbed into his lap to kiss him harder, and could feel him straining at his pants where they were pressed together. And when Cloud squirmed in his lap, purposefully brushing against his hardness, he simply grabbed Cloud’s hips to hold him still, and that was the end of it.

It wasn’t going to be the end of it tonight, he decided.

Zack grabbed his hips to hold him steady, and his SOLDIER grip was like iron, even if his fingers were gentle. So, carefully, Cloud worked a hand between them so he could cup Zack’s length through his combats.

Zack hissed in a breath and said, “Cloud, what are you doing?”

He slid his palm slowly against him and said, “What’s it look like?”

“I thought you weren’t ready.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you I am, but you keep stopping me.”

Zack pulled away to look down at him, trying to read confirmation in his face. Cloud raised an eyebrow and slid his hand a little further, listening to Zack’s breath go a little rougher, feeling the sound zing through him.

“What do you want to do, then?”

Cloud hummed. He’d had plenty of time to think about this. He’d fantasized about all the ways he could take Zack, and all the ways Zack could take him. He’d tried to figure out where his lines were, what he was ready for and what he wasn’t, what he wanted to try first and what could wait. But he knew what he wanted.

So he slid out of Zack’s lap, and onto the floor on his knees. He grabbed Zack by the hips and pulled him forward, Zack sliding willingly to the edge of the couch. Cloud couldn’t help a little grin when he watched him mouth, “Fuck.”

He slowly lowered Zack’s zipper and pulled him out, finding his hands surprisingly steady as he did so. He was nervous, yes, he’d never done this before, but he was also _excited_. He’d thought about this so many times, and Zack was finally letting him.

Zack watched him, his hands gripping the edge of the couch cushions, and Cloud made eye contact through his lashes as he leaned forward and gently licked the head of Zack’s cock.

This time, Zack said, “Fuck,” out loud.

“I’ve never done this before,” Cloud admitted, not knowing if the heat rising to his face was embarrassment or arousal. “Tell me how to do better as we go, okay?”

“Anything you want, Spike.”

Cloud nodded, and slowly licked from the base to the tip before taking as much into his mouth as he could. He swirled his tongue around the head before running the tip through Zack’s slit. He bobbed his head up and down, pressing his tongue where he could, hollowing his cheeks just slightly. He used his hands to cover and stroke what he couldn’t take into his mouth. He did everything he could think of, short of deepthroating, because, while he knew it was an option, he thought it might not be something he wanted to try and figure out on the first attempt, when he still had so much else to get the hang of.

He held eye contact with Zack the whole time, and that seemed to be the most effective part of all.

Zack quickly began panting, his breath growing more ragged the longer Cloud worked. His breath would hitch and he would give these sharp little gasps before blowing all his air out in a rush. He gave these throaty groans from time to time, and his hips would give the tiniest jerks up when Zack clearly tried and failed to control himself. He gave quiet instructions from time to time, his voice husky, and it seemed to do something to him that Cloud was listening to what he told him to do. He kept cursing quietly, mumbling to Gaia and the gods, repeating Cloud’s name like a prayer. Eventually, he reached out and threaded his fingers into Cloud’s hair—not pulling, just holding on, and Cloud gave a deep groan at that. That sound, the vibration it gave had Zack’s hips twitching up again and a sharp curse falling from his lips.

It was the hottest thing that had ever happened to Cloud. He honestly didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on in his _life_. He was aching. He was so wet he knew he had soaked through his underwear, and was worried about the state of his combats. He had his legs pressed together as he leaned forward, desperate for the little pressure that provided, squirming in place from time to time. The fact that _he_ could get _Zack_ to react like _this_ was beyond intense.

Cloud wasn’t sure if it just didn’t take that long, or if he got so wrapped up in it that he lost time, because before he expected it, Zack’s grip was tightening in his hair as he whispered, “Cloud, I’m close.”

Cloud hummed around him, and Zack cursed quietly.

“Seriously, Cloud, pull off.”

Cloud blinked slowly, still staring up at him, and sank lower on his cock.

“If you don’t, I’m gonna—”

Cloud closed his eyes and moaned quietly around Zack’s length. He looked so enthralled, so deeply enjoying what he was doing, that it pushed Zack over the edge. He swore sharply, his grip tightening to almost painful in Cloud’s hair as he came.

Cloud swallowed quickly and repeatedly, trying to drink everything that came, but some trickled out of his mouth and down his chin before he could stop it. When Zack finally finished, Cloud gave him a last few little kitten licks to clean the last of it before pulling away. With his thumb, he caught what was dripping down his chin, and glanced at it for only a moment before taking his thumb into his mouth and sucking it clean, making eye contact with Zack as he did so.

“You have no right to be that hot, you know that?” Zack said, tucking himself away again. Cloud laughed, cleaning his thumb on his pants.

“You don’t have to flatter me.”

“Isn’t flattery if it’s true.”

Zack reached down and grabbed him around the waist, spinning him in his hands so he could press Cloud’s back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face in his neck as he caught his breath.

“_Maybe_,” Cloud conceded, though he still thought it was flattery.

Zack let that go, nuzzling into the soft skin of Cloud’s throat, before pressing a kiss to his pulse point.

“Don’t suppose you’ll let me return the favor?”

Cloud’s breath caught. Somehow, in all the considering he’d done, he hadn’t actually thought of that. He’d just fantasized about all the ways he could get Zack off, everything else left as distant possibilities for the future. He hadn’t thought about what he might want right now, as soon as Zack let him indulge.

But gods, he was so turned on. He _wanted_. He thought it would be fine, but there was the biggest hang up.

“I… don’t really want to take my clothes off.”

He didn’t think he was ready for Zack to see him undressed. He knew better, but his anxiety still told him it would change something, that Zack might change his mind. That it might scare him off to see the evidence with his eyes.

“Who says you have to?”

“What?”

“I didn’t undress, did I?”

“But, that’s…”

He had something to pull out. Cloud didn’t.

Zack hummed and said, “There are options.”

Zack’s hand slipped lower, ever-so slowly, so Cloud had time to protest. He could feel his breath come quicker the further that hand got, until the fingers curved over his pubic bone and slid lower until they dipped. Cloud’s breath hitched, his hand shooting out to clutch Zack’s knee.

“We could do it like this,” Zack promised, and Cloud found his head nodding before he’d even really thought about it.

Zack started kissing his neck, his fingers going lower to press against the wettest part of him. He couldn’t press inside through the fabric, but Cloud clenched anyway in automatic response. The fingers slid back up until Zack heard his breath catch again, where he began rubbing slow circles against him. Cloud let his head fall back against Zack’s shoulder and just tried to breathe.

It felt better than anything ever had. He was nowhere good at controlling the movement of his hips as Zack was; it wasn’t long before he was all but riding his fingers. One hand was clinging to Zack’s knee, the other reached up behind him and grabbed at Zack’s hair, holding on tight. He was breathing raggedly in Zack’s arms, held upright by the one arm the SOLDIER had wrapped around his waist.

He was trying to swallow down the sounds he was making, the soft moans and cries, but then Zack whispered, “Let me hear you,” in his ear, and fuck, he couldn’t deny that, could he?

Something was building in his hips, but it wasn’t _enough_. There were so many layers of fabric between them, and he knew it could be better if there weren’t. He wanted Zack _inside_ him, and they certainly couldn’t do that with his combats in the way. All his earlier reservations about what Zack might think about his anatomy once he finally came into real contact with it were swept right out of his head by the lust in his veins. He didn’t have enough thought processes left for worry; he just knew what he wanted, and that Zack wanted to give it to him.

That was what had Cloud disentangling his arms and fumbling with his fly. It took him longer in his urgency to get it undone, but then he was grabbing Zack’s hand and urging it down into his underwear.

“Please, Zack, I need you in me.”

“_Fuck_, Cloud.”

It took a little more negotiating, with Zack’s hand trapped inside his underwear, but it was worth it, for the feeling of Zack’s fingers sliding over his clit. His hips bucked, a moan spilling from his mouth, and if that didn’t tell Zack exactly how into this Cloud was, the way Cloud’s underwear was sticking to the back of his hand would have. The last of his hesitations flew out the window as he slowly pressed two fingers into Cloud, feeling how drenched he was as he went. Cloud keened in his arms, tightening around Zack’s fingers without thinking about it, his hands scrabbling around for something to hold on to. One settled on the forearm of the hand Zack had buried in his pants, the other finding its way into Zack’s hair again. It took some clever angling, but Zack was able to pulse his fingers in and out of Cloud while working his thumb in a circle around his clit.

And that had the prettiest sounds falling from Cloud’s lips like raindrops in a storm. He was nearly writhing in his lap now, riding that hand the best he could, getting closer with every second.

Cloud had never had a foul mouth, but he was cursing incessantly, only breaking for wordless noises and desperate utterances of Zack’s name.

He knew Cloud was truly almost there when he breathed, “_Please_, Zack, _ah!_ Please, gods, _please_, I’m so close.”

Zack pressed a third finger inside and listened to the sweet cry Cloud gave, feeling the way he clenched around him. He could feel the tension start to build, the way Cloud pressed his hips up into Zack’s hand, and tightened his arm around the cadet’s waist, holding him steady. He heard the way Cloud’s moans stopped, turning strangled as he arched in his arms and came hard, his cunt pulsing around Zack’s fingers.

He rode out the last waves of his orgasm as he slumped back in Zack’s arms, panting hard. He let out a soft sound of loss as Zack withdrew his hand, but cracked open an eye to look up at him, not even sure himself when they had closed. Zack made eye contact, a little smirk on his lips as he raised his hand and sucked his fingers into his mouth, slowly and carefully licking them clean. Cloud watched with avid interest, his mouth parted, either in shock or because he was still struggling to breath.

“_Fuck_,” he whispered, and Zack chuckled once he pulled his fingers free with a pop. He dried the saliva on his couch cushions, not really giving a damn about them.

“Good?”

“_Amazing_,” Cloud promised, smiling up at him, the expression still a little dazed, right up until it faltered, all his worries coming crashing back down on him. “It wasn’t weird?”

Zack’s arm tightened around his waist.

“Didn’t I already tell you, that you don’t have any right to be that hot?”

“But—”

“_No_, it wasn’t weird. It was incredibly fucking attractive. I can’t wait to get my mouth on you—but only once you’re okay with that.”

Cloud looked at him like it was an odd comment, but was flushing all the same.

“That wouldn’t bother you? Being that up close and personal?”

“The only reason I haven’t asked before was because I don’t want to pressure you. I find you incredibly attractive, Cloud—all of you. And you look and sound like a dream when you come, why wouldn’t I want to be a part of that?”

Cloud frowned, but then Zack kissed the expression away, and he couldn’t stay mad.

“If it really doesn’t bother you.”

“Not only does it not bother me, I actively enjoy it.”

Cloud looked up at him like he doubted that, so Zack raised a challenging eyebrow back.

“I swear I could come just from listening to you.”

“_Zack_.”

“Knowing _I_ made you sound like that? There’s nothing better.”

“Zack, come _on_.”

“Maybe I’ll sit here and tell you how good you look and sound and feel until you believe me.”

Cloud huffed, and finally did up his fly again.

“Now you’re just trying to embarrass me. You owe me a game of Chocobo Racers, and I’m calling it in.”

“Aw, _Cloud_.”

Cloud did not look back at him, knowing it would be the Puppy Pout.

“Nope, c’mon. You’re playing green.”

“Cloud!”

“Let’s go, SOLDIER.”

Cloud climbed off his lap and went to go start the console, while Zack appreciated the sight of his ass as he bent over, considering his battle plan. He never won this game, even when Cloud let him play gold. There was no way he was going to win playing _green_.

Unless.

As they played, Zack recounted what they had done earlier in vivid detail, describing every sight and sound down to the minutiae. It was distracting enough that Cloud, for once, actually _lost_, despite playing gold.

And _that_ frustrated Cloud enough that he stood up, grabbed Zack by the front of his SOLDIER issue sweater, and dragged him to the bedroom, laughing all the while.


End file.
